Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been preoccupied by two days: Remembrance and Independence. They sit side-by-side, inseparable. To me, they symbolize the core of our existence. We spend twenty-four hours in the depths of grief, honoring those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom, and then, at the sharp strike of a match, we switch, and celebrate.

This year, that switch feels different.

Last week, during Holocaust Remembrance Day, I thought about the volume of pain we’ve endured these last two and a half years. It is almost too much to bear. I remember standing in the devastated kibbutzim during my reserve service, bearing witness to what happened to our people on October 7th. There, at the sights and smells of death and devastation, I realized that our loss has created a Tzavaa – a Living Will.

What unites us in many ways is this sense of collective “sharedness.” Our history, as well as modern history, gives us a perspective the world often lacks: we do not move away from the grief; we move with it. We hold the pain in one hand and our independence in the other.

As my great-grandfather, Shai Agnon, wrote: “A person’s heart is like a book; just because it is finished doesn’t mean the story is over.”

This Yom HaZikaron, let yourself feel the pain. Light a candle in memory of at least one beautiful soul, so their light continues to shine. And remember that we honor the fallen by ensuring their story continues through ours. We stay strong, we stay united, and we make this a chapter of life.